I have a 12 year old daughter, I am fairly certain that she is autistic. She hides it well, in our family it's easy to hide ASD traits as so many of us have them.
A person has ASD whether they are diagnosed or not but still the choice to go through the asses,met process can be a hard one.
With my son it was easy, he was 4 when I realised he was different, he was really struggling in school - he needed all the support he could get as did we as a family so getting a diagnosis was an obvious choice.
My 12 year old. I didn't even consider she may have ASD until my son was diagnosed she was just shy, introverted. The books, articles I read pointed more towards my daughter and husband than they did my son. I had to decide at 11 if it was fair to put her through the assessment process - what if she isn't autistic and I have made her feel self conscious? I thought about it for a long while then she had a GP appointment for an unrelated matter. She struggled to answer even the simplest questions, grunted her answers , said 'I don't know'. I mentioned my concerns regarding ASD, he said he would refer her - there was no battle, no trying to convince him to make that first step.
At the moment my daughter has had the first paediatrician appointment, she agreed there are some concerns, has seen a speech and language therapist who scored her highly on the language tests but stated she had concerns regarding social communication.
I still don't know if I am doing the right thing, but I'll trust my instincts which have proved me right many times.